Sunday Brunch? Why am I still hungry?

Ah, Sunday mornings. Today’s Oregonian is so much more than just a shit salad for breakfast. It is an epic brunch with fecal flavor of every sort. It is also a case study in why I hate The Oregonian.

Today’s headlines speak volumes about di Merda’s intentions: “Climber dies, 2 lost on Hood”, “Business tax hike will hit few, but they’ll feel it” and, in all caps of course, “OREGON DROPPED THE BALL ON MERCURY”.

Lost climbers on Mt. Hood during a winter storm advisory is not headline news. Stupidity often makes headlines, but these hikers rank very low on my radar, let alone the world’s. Don’t get me wrong, I feel for these people and especially their families. Death is often tragic and nothing will change that. Unfortunately, pride and courage got in the way of these people’s common sense. We don’t need The Insalate di Merda warning us to stay away from extremely dangerous situations that common sense dictates we leave alone. There are much more important stories like ridiculous amounts of mercury pollution we can only avoid by moving out of the state. Unfortunately, this story was at least 10 years too late.

The now-closed Ash Grove Cement plant has been pumping toxic mercury in Oregon’s air for decades. This is public information that is easily accessible from a home computer. It has been for years. So why is The Oregonian just now insisting that somebody be held accountable. Where was their investigative journalism when we needed it? Why wasn’t the editorial board insisting the DEQ and EPA do something about this? And now they want to flaunt the headline proclaiming we’ve all been duped? Thanks.

Fortunately, the tax hike article isn’t half bad. It offers enough facts to let a reader make an informed decision. The di Merda bias is still there, but that’s unavoidable. What pisses me off is their regurgitation of professional opinions while claiming it’s their own “analysis”. I know the truth. The people they interview don’t always get their names in the paper but di Merda still steal their shit. They take their knowledge and opinions. But more importantly, they take their statistics. We all know the saying about liars and statistics.

So hats off to The Oregonian for, once again, pissing me off. Without the Blazers coverage I would probably stop reading di Merda. What’s that? Their NBA coverage isn’t original? You can read the same articles on ESPN.com a mere five minutes after the game? Oh fuck! I’ve been duped again.